I just love all the glittery things and cute wrapped presents lying around at Christmas time. And honestly, who doesn’t?
In order to be popular on social media these days, you need to be cute and you need to be pro in taking selfies. As I have no problems with cuteness, just need to figure out the second part. Obviously, the bigger the camera – the better the photos!
And so, I enrolled on a photo class, borrowed a bad-ass camera from my friend and prepared myself to become a pro selfie shooter. In the class I found myself surrounded by middle-aged women, happy Indian guys and a photographing instructor, who was laughing nervously looking me with a big DSLR… as if she never saw a polar bear with a camera before.
Soon enough I learned that in fact the auto-mode that I was almost always using was the worst possible thing to do and that M would be more useful for Medvedik. As well it turned out that for a good photo you need a good speedlight (this is what they call flash these days) and a tripod (which would be a tricky part, as there is no way I can reach a camera mounted on a tripod). And it turns out that all of this also costs a fortune. And it weights as 150 of tiny polar bears like me.
If you can actually carry this thing around with you… which is not my case. I guess I am doomed with asking people to document my life as I will continue being cute, but sadly not very good at taking selfies.
I woke up with a strange feeling in the morning. I thought again and again what could be so special about this day, when I understood that 29th of April was my birthday. Good enough reason to do something special today, I thought. It was a lovely spring day and I decided to go for a walk to get some fresh air.
I ended up going to one of my favourite places in Dubai – Madinat Jumeirah. As I arrived there, I noticed a big sign with Fashion Forward written on it. There was a group of people walking in that direction, and me being a curious bear followed them.
Tried to sneak in the venue but the security guy stopped me at the entrance. “Invitation only!” What kind of place is this that such a cute polar bear can’t get it? Meanwhile, an old nice looking lady asked me which designer I was wearing. “Very nice furs!” she admitted, touching my back. I informed her that I am wearing nothing but Mother Nature. The old lady looked puzzled. “Emilio Pucci? Must be something from the new collection…” I looked at myself and said that I’m wearing nothing, but classics. The lady smiled as we got inside the long hallway with a lot of colourful dresses on the plastic manequins.
All the people were going inside the Hall number 3, so I just followed them. There was a fashion show and a lot of tall and good-looking girls were walking along the catwalk wearing glittering clothes. I found it quite monotonous and boring, so I left after 3 minutes of the show.
My nose lead me to the outside area with the restaurant. There could be no mistake, there were salmon sandwiches on the table! “That’s what I need to feel utterly happy on my Bearthday!” I thought, taking the big plate away, while the waiter was glued to the screen with the fashion show.
I stepped away from the crowd and sat under a tree finishing sandwiches one by one. Suddenly, there was a strong gust of wind and small red flowers started falling off the tree.
“Isn’t it the most gorgeous show ever?” Medvedik thought. “Why are people trying to create some artificial beauty when there is so much beauty around us?” he thought, running back and forth, playing in between of the little red flowers.
I was looking through the latest posts published and it stroke me that a lot of them were promoting healthy lifestyle, being fit and dieting. I realized that it was high time to schedule my visit to the gym. It would be a shame to publish another picture of myself being so unfit and having just finished another portion of ice-cream.
Later that day I went down to my building’s gym. When I opened the door a strong smell of sweat hit me right in the well-hidden abdominal muscle. I would prefer a nice fishy smell to this one, but probably the smell was one of the perks of being fit.
What would other polar bears find attractive? Definitely some good muscle lines. I observed a row of weight lifting men with a skeptical look. They were making weird noises and their facial expressions impressed me deeply.
Females must find it attractive if they are trying so hard, Medvedik thought.
I grabbed the smallest dumbbells I could find and began working on the muscles. Since even the smallest weights were too heavy for me, I ended up rolling the dumbbells around the gym floor.
After 15 minutes of this intense workout, I was all sweaty and weak. High time to work on the other group of muscles, I thought, collapsing on the mat. Tried to do some awkward lifts, but my arms gave up pretty fast. Ended up just lying there, observing the stars flying around the ceiling.
Life in the city is pretty harsh on the polar bears who want to stay fit. It is so much easier in the Arctic due to the cold temperatures and lack of food. But somehow I don’t feel like coming back to the snowy territories ever again.
As summer time approaching, everybody is rushing to the gym to get rid of the winter belly and rolls of fat on the sides. Medvedik’s been a little bit lazy these days too, just luxuriating on the couch and day dreaming.
But one day he climbed on the scales and his eyes widened with wonder. How did he manage to put on so much weight? It’s been a long winter, but now it’s time to shake yourself and go for a healthier lifestyle, he thought.
Next day early in the morning, he went for a run around the block. After five minutes of jogging, Medvedik found himself out of breath and out of motivation to continue. “There must be an easy way to lose these kilos!”, Medvedik thought. “I just need to do a research on the Internet…” he decided.
After a couple of hours of Internet researching, he understood that there is no other way than diet and sports. Well, there is also liposuction but it’s painful and expensive.
Medvedik decided to go for a long stroll instead of running since it was not as easy and pleasant as he thought it would. Fifteen minutes later he realized that it’s high time to eat something HEALTHY. He went to the closest restaurant and ordered a chef salad (since chef salad can’t be bad).
The salad was good and filling. Surprisingly, Medvedik felt so snoozy after eating a big salad. He figured out it is a good sign and he must have worked out really well. He obviously deserved a good afternoon snooze after burning so much fat.
He trudged home and felt asleep happy, placing his big beary paws on his big round belly.